"I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks."
Joe E. Lewis
"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George Burns
“I don't have a drinking problem, 'cept when I can't get a drink."
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Tom Waits
“A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.”
Jackie Gleason
"Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication."
Lord Byron
“Testimonials work great. Showing your reviews in quotes has a powerful effect on customers and makes them trust you.”
— Name, Title
"Where there is no wine there is no love."
Euripides. Greek Playwright. 480–406 BC
"An apple is an excellent thing until you have tried a peach."
George du Maurier
“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”
Ogden Nash
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Dean Martin
"One more of these martinis and I fear I won't be a lady."
Kiana English
"The best drink I've ever had was a mojito in St. Barts at Nikki Beach. That drink changed my life."
Sarah Carter
"Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita."
Maxine
"I am silently judging your beer selection!"
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Unknown
“I’m the Dude, so that’s what you call me. That or, uh His Dudeness, or uh Duder, or El Duderino, if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.” The Dude- The Big Lebowski
The Dude-The Big Lebowski
“I like to have a martini, two at the very most –After three I’m under the table, After four, I’m under my host.”
Dorothy Parker
"To warm you up on cold days, there's nothing better than a hot toddy...or whatever you call your guy."
Maxine-Crabby Road
"I pray you, do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine."
William Shakespeare, As You Like It
"A woman drove me to drink, and I hadn’t even the courtesy to thank her."
W.C. Fields
“Whisky is liquid sunshine.”
George Bernard Shaw
“Everybody has a soulmate. But they're usually on the other side of the bars, or the wall, or the planet from you. That's the way the universe works.”
“Prozac, Schmozac, Hasn't anyone ever heard of a Martini?”
Unknown
"Drink freely the wine life offers you and don’t worry how much you spill."
Marty Rubin
"My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"There can’t be good living where there is not good drinking."
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Benjamin Franklin
"When Life Gives You Lemons...Get Drunk!"
J. Johnson
"If the drinks don't make you happy then what's the point?!?!"
Twist On It
“I drink to make other people more interesting.”
Ernest Hemingway
"I exercise strong self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast."
W.C. Fields
"If I had one wish it would be to have the ability to lose weight as fast as I lose my dignity and self respect after 3 drinks."
Rebel Circus Quotes
"Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together."
Elizabeth Taylor
"If I had one wish it would be to have the ability to lose weight as fast as I lose my dignity and self respect after 3 drinks."
Rebel Circus Quotes
"Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together."
Elizabeth Taylor
"If I had one wish it would be to have the ability to lose weight as fast as I lose my dignity and self respect after 3 drinks."
Rebel Circus Quotes
"Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together."
Elizabeth Taylor
"May your coffee kick in before reality does."
Unknown
“No amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.”
David Sedaris
"No good story starts with, 'I was drinking milk and...'"
Unknown
"The doctor said I needed to drink more whiskey. Also, I call myself "The Doctor" now."
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someecards.com
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.""
Henny Youngman
"The next forecast with the words ice and salt better be a damn margarita recipe!!"
Unknown
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